Item: BMX Bike (in a tree under the subway tracks)
Location: Lincoln Park, Chicago
Discovered by: The Acorn King & Dudley Dude Ranch
The Acorn King Has Moved
12 years ago
Tuesday, July 7
How The F Did That Get There #2
Item: BMX Bike (in a tree under the subway tracks)
Location: Lincoln Park, Chicago
Discovered by: The Acorn King & Dudley Dude Ranch
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Daniel Larusso (The Karate Kid) was riding his bike on vacation in Chicago, when those mean Cobra Kai bullies rode up behind him on their motorbikes. A chase ensued and young Daniel Larusso ran his bike off the subway tracks and into this tree. Daniel's wounds were expertly treated by Mr. Miyagi, who magically appeared from behind a mailbox to beat the shit out of the young ruffians.
ReplyDeleteDaniel is now back home in Reseda California recouping from his injuries. Where he continues to hate his bike:
http://stupidbike.ytmnd.com/
A young Paulo Recife was waiting for the train late one night when a group of lesbian Latin King gang members approached him and threw gang signs his way.
ReplyDeleteWhen Paulo responded with a thumbs up, the lesbians grabbed his bike in anger and threw it over the platform. When the bike did not reach its intended target of a parked car, Paulo was then thrown over.
A crack team of bicycle commandos parachuted into Lincoln Park to pick up an order of Crepes for Major Slade. Lt. Aldus
ReplyDeleteBlasingame was blown off course after being sucked into a waterspout. He ended up on the subway where his legs were severed. Not by the train, but by lesbian Latin King gang members.
Remember the famous E.T. the Extraterrestrial movie “bike flying” scene? Well, this is what happens when Elliot stops pedaling and E.T. gets drunk.
ReplyDeleteAnd after Elliot supplied him with his Reese's Pieces fix...this is how that alien repays him!
ReplyDeleteSteve Bartman (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Steve_Bartman_incident) was late to his weekly beat box and break dance competition in Lincoln Park. Instead of walking as usually, he decided to borrow his brother’s BMX bike. While doing a wheelie and spinning his handlebars to impress three passing Latinas, a mighty cork tree sprung from the sidewalk and shot him in the air. Steve crashed down on the sidewalk with a deafening thud and has been in a coma ever since.
ReplyDeleteThe tree (obviously a Cubs fan) eventually went on to further fame by becoming the illegal core of Sami Sosa’s bats, helping him during his controversial home run chase.
Lesson of the story: take the subway.