Saturday, July 11

How The F Did That Get There #5



Item: Mannequin Head In a Dumpster (next to hangers & Pampers)
Location: North Bergen, NJ
Discovered by: Acorn King & Dudley Dude Ranch
Posted by The Acorn King at 6:13 PM
Labels: , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

6 comments:

  1. qnzfinestnycJuly 11, 2009 at 6:41 PM

    Ever since she watched Mannequin back in 1987, Melanie dreamed of becoming a store front mannequin on 5th avenue. She finally realized her dreams in 2001 when she packed her bags and left the farmlands of Wisconsin and headed to NYC.

    Melanie soon found out that it was difficult to land a store front mannequin job and eventually she had to sell her plastic body in street corners in the Lower East Side for money.

    Sadly, Melanie got hooked on Meth and generic plastic cleaners and was found dead in a dumpster North Bergen, NJ. She will be missed by those who knew and slept with her.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Andrew McCarthyJuly 12, 2009 at 10:24 AM

    That's exactly right. How do I know this? Well, I used to date this mannequin back in 1987. God do I miss her touch.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Dudley Dude RanchJuly 13, 2009 at 5:02 AM

    Actually...her name is Charlene. I know this because i killed her. I've been going to this support group for serial killers...and they suggested that instead of torturing real women, i should take out my "aggression" on mannequins. So...i picked up Charlene, brought her home and gave her the business. Everything was fine until her stupid plastic crotch gave me a rash on my genitals. I planned on keeping Charlene around for a while...but that fucking bitch made my junk itch like the dickens. So i decapitated her and deposited her skinny ass where she belonged all along...the fucking trash. Good riddance...slut.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Coco FonduJuly 13, 2009 at 9:41 PM

    I was roommates with Melanie (A.K.A Charlene, Roxanne, Oral Annie.) She was a very nice girl... kept to herself and always paid rent on time. She was the most popular girl on the street and was known for never turning a trick down. I remember when Dudley Dude Ranch picked her up. She looked less than thrilled but she wasn't normally very expressive so I thought nothing of it. I got a bad feeling once they drove off though when I saw that his bumper sticker read... "I heart sexing mannequins until my junk hurts."

    R.I.P Melanie

    ReplyDelete
  5. The GirlJuly 14, 2009 at 11:35 AM

    I will miss Melanie

    ReplyDelete
  6. MelanieJuly 28, 2009 at 7:50 PM

    Wait..WTF! How did my head end up in the dumpster?!

    Hold on..that's right...after I fisted him, Coco Fondu really worked me over the other night.

    ReplyDelete

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